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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pondering

I know I may sound ungrateful or whatever but the
truth is I'm not happy here in the Philippines.
In all honesty i feel like I don't belong here anymore.
I feel like I don't fit in anymore. Initially I was
happy to be home and enjoyed the life the we left behind.
But after the novelty wore off I began to say what now?
What next?

Though I was only gone for 18 months.
I got used to the fact that we were on our
own and that we had to make our own decisions.
The move was the best thing we ever did.We
became a stronger family. Now that we're home
some people think that they have a say
as to how we run our lives.
I don't like it at all but I can't say it out loud
because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
I don't want to be branded as ungrateful.
I'm so grateful for the love the help and the support.
In my heart I know that Philbert and I did what we thought is
the best for our family and I still do.
But somehow I find myself thinking about the what if's.

That's why I'm itching to migrate and to move
again to give it another shot and start anew.
I know that they say that there's no place
like home. But why does it feel like this
isn't for us anymore?

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Makati, Philippines
The name that dare's to be different. I love you too don't you know.